I took myself out for brunch today because 1) I was hungry and 2) I didn't feel like cooking and 3) I did not invite anyone, nor did anyone invite me.
The hostess sat me at a table next to an acquaintance who was finishing his own brunch, and who decided to join me after his friend left and watch me eat.
He was being flirtatious and inquisitive, though generally harmless, and I was trying to be patient and charming and social, though I really just wanted to eat unobserved and flirt with the waiter.
"What do men like about you?" my brunch companion asked, resting his chin in his hand, elbow on table.
"You mean besides the physical?" I asked, honestly, without sarcasm.
"Well, yes, what do they like about you?"
I paused. "I don't know, I can't think of anything." I looked up to see his reaction, but he was stonefaced. "I don't think there's anything they really like about me or my personality."
And I couldn't think of anything. I couldn't think of one trait that any guy has liked about me enough to stay.
If there had been anything beyond the physical, wouldn't they have stayed?
In my adult years, not being beautiful enough has never been the problem. Lack of prowess has never been the problem.
I think that guys must just not...like me very much. At least, they don't like me enough to...love me.
"You're meeting the wrong guys," my brunch date said, expression softening, sympathizing, pitying.
"You're telling me," I said.
California Conversations: Table for One
To become a fan on Facebook, click here.