Ain't That America

I just came back from Indiana. The rest of the state has to be better than where I was.

The Chicagoland area encompasses the northernmost part of Indiana, including Gary (made famous by The Music Man) and Michigan City, both of which run along the south shore of Lake Michigan. We flew into Chicago on Friday for a bachelor/ette party and then headed wayyy out to Michigan City on Saturday to spend the rest of the weekend doing more wedding-related activities (mostly eating).

I have to say, I was unimpressed with both.

I've been to Chicago before, but on business trips staying in a nice hotel and not really seeing suburbs (except Highland Park, where Michelle is from). This time around I got to drive around the southern neighborhoods (yikes - I swear it's stuck in 1979) and eat deep dish pizza for the first time at Lou Malnati's (I like Uno's better). Even though I'm the groom's friend, I got stuck with the bachelorette festivities, which was planned as a sleepover. The problem is, we didn't really do anything. There was a bellydancing instructor who came to give us a lesson, but she wasn't very good and just did a lot of talking and not a lot of teaching. I don't think we really learned anything, and I felt like an expert compared to her. Can't wait to go back to Crunch and take another class with Mimi.

The best part was staying over in an amazing converted loft apartment in the old Rowe Building on Printer's Row near the Loop in downtown Chicago. The bride's sister-in-law has an amazing space and it was cool to be in such a historic area I'd never seen, with the El tracks looming above...

It was too bad we had to drive the hour and a half out to Michigan City, but we did some exploring there too. I knew that there were a lot of dunes along the beach shore, and we got to see one for ourselves: Mt. Baldy, a huge mountain made of sand that - because of wind, erosion and other environmental factors - actually moves 4 ft. every year. It looms 123 ft. high above the Lake Michigan shore and there's only one way to get to the top: a practically vertical climb of pure sand, flanked by foresty trees. I was certain I'd never make it up there but after taking my time, I managed to ascend to the flat top and see the gorgeous and bizarre view (obstructed only by the weird fossil fuel plant next door). By the time we stumbled down the vertical drop to the bottom (some ran, I squished my bare feet in very slowly and carefully), our legs were covered up to the knees in sand, grains like cinnamon sugar, soft and sweet between our toes.

Michigan City has this nature thing happening but it's also riddled with chain restaurants and big discount superstores. For a small town, it has no small town feel - only highways, a weird casino that's half boat / half building, and tons of cigarette/tobacco shops and fireworks stores. I was happy to eat at the Bob Evans for breakfast, but I don't know if that was because it's good or because I was anxious to get away from my repulsive motel room with the terrifyingly dirty bedspread.

The wedding today took us back to nature, at the International Friendship Gardens. It looks like they have a great variety of gardens and hiking trails there, but we stuck to the official wedding area which, although chilly today, was a beautiful venue for a marriage ceremony.

I'm glad I was there this weekend - after all, it's all about friendship - but I'm betting that Vic's December wedding in St. Thomas is going to give me a more enjoyable vacation.

Labor Day Weekend Travels Part II

The trip back today went relatively smoothly. I did get to stop in Scranton and eat at Perkins, though their "new-improved" salad bread bowl is really bizarre, and not that tasty. But it's still a great place to eat, even by yourself, and I got a sugar cookie to go, to keep me company on the rest of the trip home.

I left Syracuse a bit later than I wanted to (making a requisite stop at Carousel mall), so of course I was pretty much rushed the whole way back to Newark. Instead of stopping at every scenic overlook and taking pictures like I wanted to, I treated the trip back as more of a fact-finding mission for the next time I drive through that way. Besides all the previously mentioned restaurants, there's also The Crossings outlet mall, and Bushkills Falls (known as "The Niagara of Pennsylvania"). Plus, Pennsylvania (esp. the Scranton area) has all these coal mine tours, and even a mining museum. Probably great family vacation attractions, which means of course I want to go.

But today I spent a long time in stand-still traffic on 80E, and soon thereafter my check engine (or check oil?) light went on, so I was anxious to drop that frickin' rental car off in Newark.

By the way, if the car rental company asks you whether you prefer a KIA Rio or Optima, tell them "Neither. Give me a car with a quiet transmission and a steering wheel that doesn't shake."

Labor Day Weekend Travels Pt 1

I rented a car today and drove up from Newark, NJ to Syracuse, NY. What a shithole Newark is. The last time I rented a car there (which is much cheaper than Manhattan), I was driving home for Christmas, and I got terribly lost getting to the highway. Finding my way went much more smoothly and quickly today, and soon I was careening down Route 80 in the rain, through the Poconos and the Del Water Gap, past the area where I went skydiving last year for my birthday.

I smartly planned my trip upstate with Maria in two sections: two hours to Scranton, pit stop, and then two hours to Syracuse. We made a detour outside of Scranton to Clarks Summit, a cute mountain town that houses all the chain restaurants you could ever want, including the only open Bennigan's I've seen in months and Waffle House. They also have a crazy restaurant right next to Waffle House called Vince the Pizza Prince, whose structure is an actual castle. I'll have to eat there one day but today I was hell-bent on introducing Maria to the famous waffles and coffee.

I think on my way back to NYC on Monday I'll drive the same way and stop to eat at one of the several fully operational Perkins restaurants in the Scranton area. I thought they were all long gone (the Syracuse locations having been replaced by Denny's), but lo and behold, they're all over the place (including three on Staten Island!).

Weather is crap and I'll probably skip the State Fair this year. Hope the visibility on the ride back is better than on the way up here.

A rainy night in New York

The rain didn't stop us from enjoying the Dutchess County Fair last night, whose crowd was pleasantly light because of the weather. By hell or high water, we were going to eat veggie tempura and sausages & peppers and buy dozens of tickets to ride the rides. I haven't been that nauseous in a long time, and not only because of the fried food but because of the very looooong rides whose repetitive motion always bothered me as a child and now is practically unbearable to the adult me.

I also fed a llama and a camel from my hand which was nauseating in a completely different way.

Worst of all was a new ride for me, the Cliff Hanger which mimicks hang gliding but lasts forever and just goes in circles. But fortunately, by the time we went on that ride, we'd already enjoyed the Zero Gravity (formerly known to me as the Round-Up), 1000 Nachts (formerly known to Mike as the Rainbow) and swing rides as well as my staple, bumper cars.

After the Cliff Hanger I ran right over to Bob Maxwell's Walk-A-Way Sundae stand to experience the magical healing powers of square vanilla ice cream covered in chocolate and peanuts on a cone. Cures a sick tummy every time.

The drizzle also did not deter us from dipping into the hot tub when we got back to Mike's house. Somehow it only feels right when the weather is chilly and gloomy like yesterday, and it's pitch black out.

The quick trip was a bit exhausting but we managed to get up in time today to drive to Cold Spring and grab a meal at Cold Spring Depot, the haunted old train station that's been converted into a restaurant. I'm pretty sure we sat in the exact spot where the woman who haunts the station was originally murdered. I felt a little nauseous there, too.

And now back home to NYC where I have to try to explain to people what things are like Upstate.

Christmas in August

Yes, that's me right in the front, second from left in the pic

Last night I went out to the Audio Magick studio in West Babylon (that's Long Island, yo) to sing backup vocals for the new Twisted Sister Christmas album.

Of course I wasn't hand-picked for the gig. In fact, the invitation had nothing to do with whatever talent I may or may not have. But fortunately working in the music industry has its perks, and one of them happens to be a bizarre opportunity such as this, when a band needs a lot of voices and free labor.

Being the Christmas music afficionado that I am, it was hard for me to stand back and not music direct the whole thing ("no, you're going too slow!"), but actually Mark and Jay Jay did a great job corralling us and making the whole night really fun, despite our hunger and the hot temperature of the small studio.

We didn't get to meet Dee, but we sang "Deck the Halls," "Silver Bells," "Let It Snow," "O Come All Ye Faithful" and their take on "The Twelve Days of Christmas" called "Heavy Metal Christmas." Look for my name in the liner notes - Twisted Christmas comes out later this year on Razor & Tie. A proud moment for my recording debut.

Did I mention I love Long Island?

[Edited on 5/21/16 8:52 p.m. PT to fix broken links and photos]

I have complete control of the vehicle.

The Dodge Caliber is a weird little car. I rent a lot of cars, but never has the driver seat been so much higher than the passenger seat, and never have I needed to adjust the steering wheel. It's a strange little box - roomy enough - but its small size and sturdy build actually make it hard to see outside of the car. I have a hard enough time changing lanes and checking my blindspot - thank God I had Mike in the backseat saying things like "Watch out for that car in front of you."

We drove down to Six Flags Great Adventure yet again yesterday, this time to see Club Kidz Bop - I'll withold my reviews. The weather was terrible, but Six Flags apparently never closes because of rain, and we had to go there for work anyway, so off we went despite the bleak forecast (which our resident meteorology expert Mike confirmed).

Lucky enough this time we actually got to do the Daredevil Dive, which was probably the highlight of the day. Mike missed it because he wandered off for an Italian ice, but had he stayed he would've seen me and Edith being strapped together, tethered and launched 157 ft. up into the air, clutching onto each other, arms interlocked. We were then released, bungee-style, to swing back and forth over the crowd. A good precursor to skydiving for anyone who's never done it. And it wasn't scary at all for me, except for that moment before the freefall (but thankfully you're suspended by a strong tether instead of hurdling towards the ground). You can do the ride with up to three people bundled together, so we're looking for a third participant for the next time....
We also rode Nitro based on Mike's recommendation, and I too had a visual fade-out - not a full-on blackout, but everything turned sort of purple as the ride banked over that last turn. Very satisfying, especially since the threatening sky and severe thunderstorm warnings closed down the rest of the rides for most of the day.

A decent dinner at Champps bar & grill in Edison's Menlo Park Mall gave us a good break from the rain, and when we were done we had a relatively short drive home. Finding a lucky meter-free parking spot on 25th Street helped me get into bed at a decent hour, and when I checked the car this morning I discovered that there was no damage to the car, despite hitting the curb on a flooded highway exit when a deluge of water hit our windshield the night before. Relieved, I gave that weird red Caliber back to Dollar car rental by 10 a.m. and came home to go back to bed.

Oh, what an adventure

There's nothing like taking the day off from work to go to an amusement park and see a concert. Yesterday actually marked the second time I'd been to Six Flags Great Adventure in two weeks - this time to see Angels & Airwaves in concert (you may know their conveniently-titled single "The Adventure").

Marc Ribot has a song that says that the hills of New Jersey are so lovely, and although it was meant as a joke, he's right. Once you get past all the industrial crap, driving down the Garden State Parkway actually is pretty green. And hiding among those hills are all sorts of great finds - relics of suburbia like outlet malls and 50's-style drive-in diners like Stewart's.

It's the same Stewart's that makes the root beer (not the Stewart's convenience stores that we Upstaters know), and there are a few left around the country, several of which actually in NJ. We stopped at the one on Rte 9 in Howell but there's one in Kearny and in Vineland with variations in menu and decor. We didn't use the car-hop service (like you see in American Graffiti) but we did eat hot dogs with bacon, steak sandwiches and waffle fries. And root beer in a frosty mug. A&W has got nothin' on these guys.

Unfortunately that meant our stomachs were not in prime form for lots of rides, but we did survive the hour-plus wait to get on .the Superman ride which, in terms of avoiding regret, was worth it. Flying through the air stomach-down is actually quite relaxing. Doesn't really feel like you're going upside-down. It was nothing like El Toro, which kicked our asses the week before. New this year to Six Flags, El Toro is a wooden-style rollercoaster that goes faster than any ride I've ever been on. Vertical drops. G-force like you wouldn't believe. It makes you feel drunk. Ole!

So I've got one more trip to Six Flags in me this summer, next month to see Club Kidz Bop. Maybe I'll finally work up the nerve to ride Kingda Ka then. And maybe when we go back to the Cheesecake Factory in Edison on the way home, I'll actually leave some room for cheesecake.

Long and Strong

I was bummed to have to give up my Saturday to drive one of my label's artists and her manager around Long Island, but I consoled myself when I realized that Long Island is probably the one place where I could actually find a guy who wants to take me to the mall and listen to Journey. After all, the one guy I actually do know who fits the bill lives in Cedarhurst. So I packed up the rental car and I picked up my passengers and zoomed over to the Queens Midtown Tunnel for an early morning drive down the L.I.E.

My previous excursions to Long Island have taken me to some of the usual destinations - Fire Island, Jones Beach, Westbury Music Fair, Roosevelt Field - but the only other time I had to work out there was just out to Farmingdale and fortunately I wasn't doing the driving. This time around I had to navigate my way all the way out to {ahem] a charity soccer tournament in Commack.

On the way out there somewhere around exit 36 we got hungry and were making good time, so we started driving towards Mineola (sort of) in search of food, and found a great little bagelry on Mineola Ave. called Barbara's Bagels. I have no idea who Barbara is but her bagels are fantastic. I was trying to be good so I managed to avoid the french toast bagels (replete w/powdered sugar) and the flagels, which just sort of looked like flattened-out bagels.

After getting to Commack and surviving some drizzle on a soccer field, we had to head back towards the city to Port Washington, a surprisingly cute watefront area (with neighboring Danbury and Manhassett) with lots of upscale shopping, gated communities and a crazy school/retreat tucked away in the woods (whose sign asked that we preserve the serenity of their campus, meanwhile I was peeling out as I made a U-turn in their driveway because I was lost). After petting some doggies and kitties at North Shore Animal League (which was surprisingly depressing) we got a late lunch at the very scary-looking Mexican/South American restaurant Mi Ranchito / Senor Pollo, whose excellent fajitas and vegetarian burrito weren't scary at all! (You know anyplace with pictures on their menu really could go either way...) Appropriately, we then caught a matinee screening of Nacho Libre at the soon-to-be-renovated movie theater on Main Street.

The hilarity of the film didn't get my spirits high enough to mentally survive the noisy, chaotic ride back to JFK - not hearing the GPS, making a few wrong turns, getting stuck in very slow traffic. Whilst trying to avoid a mental breakdown right there, I really wished I had hijacked the trip and dragged everybody to Garden City for some hot mall action and the Cheesecake Factory. At least then my quest for the man of my dreams might've been satisfied... Between that and not making my travel companions happy despite best efforts, the whole mission felt pretty impossible.

And now back to work. And further evidence that I need a pet.

A quick jaunt to Florida

Just got back tonight from a quick work-related trip to FL - flew into Ft. Lauderdale and drove a very short distance to the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood (technically on the Seminole Reservation). Even though we were there on business, we had plenty of time to explore the casino, eat lunch at Hooter's, and take a dip in the very shallow pool (which is more like a lagoon with a water slide).

Thankfully I didn't drop too much money this time around - I was enjoying watching my coworker gamble while I held tightly onto my money. I did blow some cash playing some slots that ended up very boring (including Monopoly and Enchanted Unicorn, shockingly not a magical experience for me). Didn't get to try my luck at Hexbreaker which was the highlight of my Turning Stone casino experience, but that's OK.

The rooms at the Hard Rock are great, and there's music playing everywhere. When I checked into my room they had the stereo already pumping music, just waiting for me to arrive. Plus there's memorabilia everywhere, and a huge blown up photo of Stevie Nicks hanging over the front desk.

We had the latter portion of Friday night to ourselves so we went dancing at Pangaea, which mixed current hip hop and R&B with some throwback hits from the Monsta Jamz era. On our way back to our rooms we popped into Tequila Ranch, but once again I was in no shape to ride the mechanical bull. Yet another missed opportunity...

Somehow managed to get ourselves up this morning and go on a quest for Waffle House, which wasn't too far in neighboring town Dania and where I had the best soft-scrambled eggs with cheese I have ever had (besides in my own kitchen). And of course a waffle and a cup of famous coffee.

With a few hours to spare before our flight back to NYC we went in search of a mall, only to find that the Millenium Mall was definitely not from this millenium, and it was totally abandoned (I now wish I'd taken a picture). After also chasing down the dog races and a couple other malls which turned out to be strip malls, we drove to Miami for the Aventura Mall. Too bad we were too full to eat at the Cheesecake Factory there.

Took the necessary run through the local Target store (just on the other side of the Miami-Dade county border) and then drove through a brief, thunderous downpour on our way to the airport. My driving was stellar for the sake of my coworker, but I still made several illegal u-turns while getting lost. Serves me right for not getting the GPS this time.

I Heart Upstate New York

Howe's modest entryway

Back Upstate just one month after our trip to Albany for Kidz Bop Live, this time for another visit to Mike's house in Barrytown and for a road trip to Howe Caverns in Howe's Cave, NY. I had been there as a kid - in retrospect, my father did a very good job finding touristy ways of entertaining us back then - but really only remembered something about stalactites and stalagmites and being afraid of whatever was dripping on my head, and had a vague recollection of a boat ride. Visiting there again - in a relatively large group of 8 people - was fun in a predictable kind of way, especially since I'd just visited the caves at Ruby Falls in Chattanooga's Lookout Mountain a year ago. After we got to Howe's we realized that they also do a lantern tour (like the Castle Labyrinth in Buda) - that coupled with the fact that they didn't turn the lights of at all during the boat ride this time around gives us plenty of reason to go back.

The back of Olana at sunset

Even though Howe Caverns was the main destination on our trip, we started following a lot of the brown signs in the area that point out historic sites, and Mike being from that area had his own favorite spots to show us. Historic Hudson Valley is a network of these types of sites, mostly manors and estates owned by socialite families and often - like Olana - designed by famous artists. Olana (designed by Hudson River School painter Frederic Church) was really a standout for us - walking around as the sun just started to go down, this Persian style fantasy was much more ornate than a lot of the other Greek Revival and Beaux Arts houses we saw.

After sunset on the banks of the Hudson River in Clermont's back lawn, the next day we were really hyped for more exploring. We checked out the garden at Bard College and marveled at the amount of painters standing with their canvases under parasols - totally a scene out of a Victorian movie. The neighboring Montgomery Place has a cool hidden waterfall just on the border of the Bard campus so we took a hike through there despite our flip flops and temperature-inappropriate jeans.

I guess I never really knew that area of the state at all - Dutchess County, Sleepy Hollow... I've learned so much and my hometown isn't even all that far from there. Now that I have a plan to go back to Syracuse in a couple of weeks, I'm determined to do more exploring and get to know my roots better.

Plus, I think there's maybe another roadtrip ahead, next time to Cooperstown which appears to be much more than just the Baseball Hall of Fame. And maybe we'll get to stop at Dairy Queen again - if not the one in Oneonta, then back to the one in Hyde Park (thank you Chris)....