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May 08, 2015

Photo Essay: No Place Like Homeboy (Updated for 2018)

Last updated 5/18/18 6:35 PM PT

I always seem to be struggling between two sides of my personality and intellect: spiritual versus rational, creative versus scientific, high-brow versus low-brow, masculine versus feminine, virgin versus whore. In my professional life, I'm somewhat equally both a capitalist and a philanthropist – two things which don't always go together. But I believe that there is a way to make money and still support social change, not only because it feels good and it's the right thing to do. The non-profit, cause-related world can learn a lot from the for-profit sector, retain their integrity, and use it for the greater good.

That's the dream, anyway.

So when planning an event for my job as field agent for Atlas Obscura, I was really excited to assemble a group of curious adults to tour Homeboy Industries, makers of the most popular items in the Ralph's deli department, locally-made chips and salsa. It held all the promise of a factory tour and garden tour and delicious eats, but also the opportunity to spend some money and patronize a business that's making LA a better place.

Homeboy is unique because it's a rehabilitation program for ex-cons and former gang members that not only provides community support and services like tattoo removal, but it puts them to work in real jobs where they can learn skills like baking bread, silkscreening, gardening, and, in the case of our tour guides, public speaking. As one "homeboy" said, "Where else would I be paid to improve myself and get my life together?"

There's not exactly that much to see at Homeboy's headquarters in Downtown LA, right next to the Chinatown Metro station. It's a large building full of offices and meeting rooms. But more importantly, it's full of a lot of heart.

Homeboy is the people who run it, who are surviving hardships, recovering from addictions, and overcoming financial, social, racial, and even medical obstacles as we speak. And they are supported by others who have gone through some of the same things, who understand their struggles without judging them or treating them like an outsider. Even if they were incarcerated for crimes like carjacking and selling drugs.

Horrible things can happen to anybody.

And sometimes they relapse. They fall back in with their old gangs. They falter in their sobriety. They start to doubt themselves. But the most important thing is this: Homeboy welcomes them when they're ready to come back.

It's amazing how vulnerable these homeboys and homegirls are willing to be in front of a group of strangers, especially after having to be tough on the streets for so long. But they know it's part of their recovery. And sharing their stories can help others in countless ways. Our tour guide Kendra touched me in ways she'll never understand. I've got a forever place in my heart for her.



But what can I possibly do? I'm just an event planner and a writer.



In this case, I could introduce 30 people to Homeboy Industries.



Because of me, 30 people bought jams and salsas and granolas and breads and pastries to bring home and share with their friends and families.



Thirty people sat together in the Homegirl Cafe for lunch, drinking cucumber juice...



...nibbling on those delicious chips...



...and tasting ingredients from Homeboy's own gardens beautifully prepared in salads...



...sandwiches (with housemade ciabatta, of course), and tacos.



I also could use proceeds from ticket sales to buy 30 recycled tote bags, turning each attendee into a roving billboard for Homeboy.



Sure, they can use monetary donations, but I don't have any money of my own to give now. So I'll throw some business their way.



When I went to pick up the tote bags, they invited us back for a tour of the silkscreen shop after we'd finished our tour and lunch at headquarters.



Of course, this is the stuff I really wanted to see – like the machine that "burns" the design into the screens...



...the screens themselves...



...and all those colorful inks.



There are so many inks –hundreds of colors – but if someone requests a color they don't already have, they can probably make it.



This type of ink requires to be heat-set in order to dry, which means the globs can sit out in the open for weeks and not evaporate or dry.



The screened t-shirts – both their own and those they have been hired to print by third parties – are then put on a conveyer belt through a dryer that's like a giant version of those toasters that heat the sandwiches at Quizno's.



The shop can also take on embroidery projects, thanks to a giant computerized sewing machine...



...that can execute any design programmed into it, as long as you hit the right buttons and hold the fabric in place with a green metal ring.



They can even embroider smaller items like neckties.



And there are nearly as many varieties of colored threads as there are inks, with shelves upon shelves filled with spools of hues, shining from dark to light.



The best part was meeting our tour guide, Edgar, who turned out to be the silkscreen artist who had made our tote bags. We kind of ambushed him when we arrived, but he managed to speak over the whir of the dryer and show us every crevice of the shop, a bit bashful at its simplicity. He didn't want to bore us, but we were fascinated with the shop, and charmed by him.



He said he didn't know how to give a tour, which is actually what made the tour so great. He didn't have a script, so he had no choice but to speak from the heart.



Update: In May 2018, I had the chance to tour Homeboy's Electronics Recycling, an R2-certified facility that takes responsible recycling seriously.



Of course, since only about half of most electronics is actually recyclable (and a lot of individual parts are just trash), the more sustainable idea is actually to figure out a way to reuse the item.



That's why a lot of the focus at Homeboy is on refurbishing and reselling (either in their own store, online via eBay or other resellers, or through third parties) or renting. (Turns out there's quite a market in Hollywood for old TVs.)



Sometimes, the stuff they get is already in pretty good shape. It's amazing how people just throw stuff out—even if it's brand new and in the box.



And likewise, there are so many parts out there that are perfectly good and get wasted or replaced for no good reason. I suppose the same goes for people. Sometimes a newer model is more desirable, but inexplicably so.

Unlike Homeboy headquarters (and Homegirl Cafe), Homeboy Recycling doesn't just focus on ex-cons and ex-gang members. It also employs homeless or just out of homelessness and folks somewhere on the autistic spectrum—the "unemployable" by other companies' standards. And besides, not everyone with a record is a career criminal. Any of us could get picked up for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and have to deal with a permanent blemish as a result.

It felt like kismet that I was there today—because as we were wrapping up our tour, I turned around and spotted a refurbished Sanyo turntable, Model TP-1010, circa 1975-1978. I'm pretty sure my father, a certified audiophile, had something similar.

I already have a Technics turntable circa 1998 from J&R that has always been a more basic model than I've wanted—and, after moving it at least four times, could use a new belt and a new motor and definitely needs a new stylus and cartridge. All of that would've cost me more than the $175 I paid for this turntable that's been returned to its original vintage condition—which is better than what I could've gotten in the late 1990s when vinyl was passé and turntables weren't that easy to find.

Even today, I could surely get a brand-new turntable cheaply for less than $200, but if I wanted the quality I'm getting in this refurbished model, I'd have to pay upwards of $500 to $1000.

Besides, I wouldn't get the satisfaction of supporting a very unique business whose mission aligns with my own personal values.

And that's getting harder and harder to find.

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May 07, 2015

Photo Essay: Gardens of the World

There are so many ways to experience other cultures in LA. Whether it's by eating your way around the world in Little Armenia or Historic Filipinotown or Little Tokyo or Chinatown or the San Gabriel Valley, or by visiting any random temple that might be for the Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, or Hare Krishna faiths – or any combination thereof.



One of the more intriguing ways to experience the world outside of LA without actually leaving LA is by visiting its many gardens.



While some are devoted to one culture (like our many Japanese gardens), others, like Gardens of the World in Thousand Oaks, take you on a transatlantic journey to France...



...and England...



...with its rose gardens...



...and artichokes.



But perhaps you would prefer Italy...



...with its cypress trees and "chain" fountain?



When visiting Gardens of the World, you are at once not in California (much less LA)...



...nor are you in France, despite the cascading waterfall and ornamental flower beds that might indicate otherwise.



On your stroll, you may think you have teleported to Japan, passing by a tea house...



...and a bridge...



...but you're quickly zapped back to the Golden State...



...and transported back in time to the early days of California in the Mission Courtyard.

And it doesn't feel like you've walked that far.

And you haven't spent that much time away from your real life, in this city, in this state, in this country.

But you got to see something new and different, for just a little while.

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May 06, 2015

Don't Blame It On Me

I'm amazed at how many bad things that have happened to me are (supposedly) my fault.

When I was three years old and overcome with terrible temper tantrums, my parents thought I was crazy or evil – even calling me the "devil child" – when it turns out I was almost blind, and had high functioning intelligence without the verbal skills to express myself.

When I was sexually assaulted by my neighbor in my own dorm room, the college disciplinary board blamed me for letting the guy into my room in the first place.

When I woke up to a guy having sex with me while I was asleep – clearly unable to consent – I was blamed for letting him spend the night in my bed, though I'd only done so because he'd passed out there and was too drunk to go home.

When I was being sexually harassed at work, I was blamed for "not being friendly enough" when I tried to maintain a professional decorum and resisted being sexually objectified and interrupted in private and public meetings with double entendres and a round of wink-wink-nudge-nudge.

I have permitted too many things to go too far in my life, and I've learned from that. It shouldn't be this way, but in some circumstances, you may not be "asking for it" per se, but you're engaging in risky behavior that just increases your chances of being hurt. You can have all the faith in the world in people, but many of them don't deserve it.

And many times, I've waited too long to walk away. I guess I can be blamed for that.

So I've built up my walls, a tough exoskeleton to protect myself from my soft, naked core. I don't trust anybody anymore. And I don't like to be touched by strangers.

This has become a major point of contention in California, a state full of people who love to hug and kiss strangers, and who get offended if you don't welcome it. I can't tell you how many times I've ended a business meeting and a man I've just met has swooped down to hug me. At first, I'd taken to saying, "Are we there yet?", but they would invariably inform me that we were, indeed, there, so now I just have to refuse the physical contact as politely as possible. But there's no great way to say, "Please don't hug me. It makes me uncomfortable." Besides, they never seem to ask for permission. They just go for it.

Business meetings and casual daytime acquaintances are one thing, but nightlife encounters are a bit more traumatic. Drunk people love to hang all over you, manhandle you, grope you, and then feign ignorance when confronted. I can't tell you how many times I've declared, "That's my boob," and some guy has argued "No it's not." Are you kidding me?

There was one night at Jones Hollywood that a drunk guy got so bad, and wouldn't stop putting his arm around me despite my repeated protests, that I raised my voice and threatened to punch him in the face. The bartenders just stared blankly at me and kept drying the washed glassware. They rolled their eyes as they turned away. The bouncer kept his position at the door. I was all on my own, forced to defend my own personal space, forced to try to convince people why it should be protected, and why I should be able to decide whether my own body was touched or not.

How is this even a question?

Last night, I was back at Jones, and sat at the one empty seat at the bar. The guy next to me looked familiar, but then again, I've seen a lot of that restaurant's patrons before. I asked him how his day was. He said, "I remember you, you don't like to be touched."

"That's right, I don't like to be touched – by strangers," I said.

He offered an outstretched hand to shake, which I thought was ok, but when I grasped it, he held on too tight, squeezing and rubbing his thumb along my hand. "Don't be creepy," I warned, and snatched my hand away.

He then proceeded to tell me how he loved hugging people and how he was a "toucher" and he'd made it his goal to convert me. "I'm going to hug you tonight," he said.

"That sounds like a threat."

"It is."

I started to get freaked out. I couldn't figure out if he was being intentionally ridiculous for comedy, or if he actually was a dangerous person. The bartender came over to say hi and I told him that this guy was creeping me out and kept trying to touch me, and the bartender said, "What? He's a great guy!" and then walked away.

I thought I would reason with my potential assailant. I said, "You have to understand, when you meet women of a certain age, it's very likely that they will have been molested or assaulted or raped or otherwise harassed at some point in their lives. I've had multiple of those things happen to me. Acting like this is going to trigger them. You have to be respectful of the boundaries they set."

And then he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, and he said, "Those are the buttons I'm going to press tonight."

And then I had my answer. In the choice of flight or fight, I'd tried to fight, but it was time to fly. But before I went, I lit into him and unleashed my wrath, calling him a "sick bastard" and "rapist" and warning him to never speak to me again. I stood up and towered over him, somehow becoming twice my normal size, as you would to fight a bear or a mountain lion.

And he just smiled and snickered at me.

The bartender came over. "Are we screaming?" he asked, giving me the side-eye. "We're not screaming right? We're just talking?"

And I knew then that there was no one there to help me, so I removed myself, thinking I would just change my seat, but finding myself in the ladies' room to have a good cry and try to put myself together. But it was too late: I was wrecked. This guy had torn me down.

And then the worst thing happened: the manager of the bar told me that I couldn't stay, that he would call me a cab and I would have to be the one to leave. I recited our conversation to him, and he kept asking, "Did he really say that?" The manager then said he interviewed the people sitting around us and the bartender, and all they saw was a guy trying to shake my hand and me freaking out on him.

"You didn't hear the things that weren't screamed," I said.

"Well, all I know," he said, "Is that you sat next to him."

I then confronted the bartender for selling me down the river, and he said, "What's going on with you? Why didn't you tell me there was a problem? Why didn't you just move your seat?"

Oh, okay, it's all my fault. Except I did tell him I was getting creeped out. And he didn't believe me. He didn't listen.

I was hiding in a dark corner on a bench for quite some time before the manager came back to check on me again. He said, "Do you want me to kick him out? If you tell me to kick him out, I'll kick him out."

I said, "If I were you, I'd kick him out for what he did."

So the manager went back and talked to him again. And then, here's the kicker: he returned to me, and said, "OK, I've asked him to leave, and now I've got to ask you to leave. I can't have you here."

No apologies for a bad experience, no comfort that they were here to keep an eye on me and protect me, no assurances that this was a safe place. Instead, I'd caused a problem, and I had to be removed.

I felt punished for standing up for myself. Again.

I don't want to stay where I'm not wanted, so I tried to gracefully bow out. But I don't know how I can go back there, to a place where I thought my friends were looking out for me, but where they actually permit inexcusable behavior to happen, and I'm expected to as well.

Too many horrible things have happened to me as a result of me being nice and not wanting to be rude. Of me putting other people's wants and needs ahead of mine.

And I'm damaged forever because of it. The only thing I can do is try to prevent any further damage from happening.

And this is what I get.

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May 05, 2015

My Turn to Ring the Bell

I haven't been able to go to Disneyland yet, after over four years living in Southern California. I haven't had anybody to go with, and I don't want to go by myself. Even if I was willing to fly solo, I can't afford it right now.



Disney's inaccessibility to me has rendered it even more fascinating, and worth driving over an hour to the next county over to see one of its small gauge trains on display at Fullerton Railroad Days.



I waited patiently in line for the train, which was really just a caboose...



...the only adult without children in tow.



I smiled at the conductors and engineers in their overalls and blues. "I don't have any children," I said, "But I like trains."



"Come on up!" they said, and then let me turn the lever for the whistle, and pull the rope for the bell.



Because sometimes, you've just got to blow your whistle and ring your own bell. Nobody's going to do it for you.

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Photo Essay: Oxnard Heritage Square

Sometimes, if you're going to save a place, you have to chop it up in pieces, move it, and then put it back together. Hence, the Heritage Square.



But unlike similar squares in LA and Bakersfield, Oxnard's Heritage Square has no locked gates, and no admission fee.



Its relocated historic homes and other turn-of-the-century structures aren't vacant and locked. The former pump house has transformed into a visitor's center.



And if you're lucky, you might encounter the apparition of a nice Victorian lady who'll unlock any locked doors for you.



All restored to or close to their original condition (replacing broken windows and repainting exteriors in more modern color schemes), there are 11 homes total that occupy a large block of Historic Downtown Oxnard.



The former homes of Oxnard's first families now house businesses as diverse as produce...



...a winery...



...a hair salon, spa, and even an orthodontist's office.



The on-site chapel began as a Congregational church and then evolved into more multi-denominational ceremonies.



In its current location, it retains its original stained glass in the back of the sanctuary...



...which is now used for meetings, events and performances.



The grounds are maintained by a homeowner's association, and the business owners actually own their historic buildings and maintain them.



It's so lovely to have something like this open to the public in the center of the town. And if you can't find it by all those whimsical and elegant dollhouses (and one California Craftsman), just look for the water tower.

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May 04, 2015

Photo Essay: The Rite of Zorthian Ranch, By Invitation Only [Updated for 2025—Burned in the Eaton Fire]

[Last updated 1/9/25 1:24 PM PT—A GoFundMe fundraiser announced that 95% of the infrastructure of Zorthian Ranch—including wooden retaining walls and the bridge—was destroyed in the 2025 Eaton Fire. Family archives were also lost, including historic photos and all the artwork that Jirayr Zorthian created. The family hopes to rebuild.]

Having been raised so sheltered and caged, rarely socialized with animals or humans, it's hard for me to imagine growing up with any real sense of community. Even with my mother home all the time, even after sharing a bedroom with my sister for 17 years, I always felt so isolated. My classmates stopped inviting me to parties and school dances because I always had to say no, lest I aggravate my mother's attachment disorder, and get in trouble just for asking.

Even as an adult, I always kind of feel left out. These days, people often don't invite me because they presume I'm too busy or have other plans, or that somebody else must've invited me. But that's not always true.

And of course I don't like going where I'm not invited. So I don't just show up to a birthday celebration or holiday dinner, even if I know it's happening. I often wait for invitations that never come.

So it meant a lot to me when Alan Zorthian said he'd love to meet me and show me his ranch. I jumped at his invitation, and called him immediately to arrange. I knew Alan by reputation but not personally, though I'd seen (and photographed) his livestock at this year's Blessing of the Animals. I'd heard stories of the ever-evolving art installation that was his home, and of his father's notorious parties that once drew artists, scientists, jazz musicians, and other illuminati. But I had no idea what I was in for.