I feel like I've been in a state of arrested development, ever since I arrived in LA.
I mean, I hit the ground running in LA, starting a new career in tech, settling into my new apartment, in my new city of Beverly Hills...
But that all came to a screeching halt when I was unceremoniously laid off after only three months into my new career, after which I went crawling back to the music industry, taking a literal and symbolic few steps back in my career.
I squatted there for a while, til I was brave enough to leave, without having another job lined up.
And then, when I was fully available for hire, no jobs came.
And I've been treading water for the last six months.
In November, it was clear that all of my prospects were at best on pause until the new year, so I got a job - any job - just to tide me over.
But now that job takes up most of my time. And it's a nowhere job. It's not a career move. It's not getting me anywhere. It's just allowing me to stay where I am, for just...a little while...longer.
I spent so much time in New York trying to get to LA, that now I'm here, I feel like I'm going nowhere.
I got where I was trying to go. Now what?
I am existing here.
I am surviving here.
But there is no meaning.
There is no love. There are few and only fleeting connections.
There is no money.
There is beauty.
There are pleasures.
There are possibilities.
This Is It
The Road to Nowhere
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